Hi Everyone,
I'm a huge attention hungry fag, who needs people to join my group so I can feel e-popular and good about myself!!!
Maybe when I was younger my parents never loved me. Maybe I was touched in my no-no place by a figure of authority. Maybe I’m just a big, whining emo. Whatever it is, I don’t love myself, and I need you to join my group so that I can. Go Me!!!
I am willing to commit to doing the following acts for every member milestone I reach:
10 members: Start spelling like a Brit. Colour anyone? Pip pip and whatnot?
50 members: Build a monument to Phil Collins and Genesis with built-in speakers. Play ‘Invisible Touch’ on non-stop loop.
100 members: Explode my house.
250 members: Have a threesome with a midget and a mime.
500 members: Murder a hobo.
1,000 members: Rock and Roll all night. Party for a fair portion of the day.
2,000 members: Donate my life-savings to the Tampa Bay Devilrays.
5,000 members: Upon my death, haunt the descendants of Nick Lachey.
10,000 members: Orbit the moon.
50,000 members: Legally change my name to Hammerthrust McUgekock.
100,000 members: Learn to fly.
200,000 members: Touch the sky.
300,000 members: Develop complex ’28 Days Later’-type device to replace all my blood with mercury. Attempt to gain super powers.
500,000 members: Perform the entire score of the popular Broadway show ‘Cats’ in a bathrobe.
1,000,000 members: Have my cake and eat it too.
2,000,000 members: Invade Canada.
5,000,000 members: Bring about the second coming of Christ.
10,000,000 members: Kill the second coming of Christ.
Okay, awesome guys. Now, I know you probably know all of the people who make groups like these are only in it for the attention, especially the ones who make groups about hating groups like this, but you know I’m totally different. So, join my group and we can take care of this Jesus guy once and for all!!!!111
PS – Chuck Norris LOLOLOL
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