I've Done It!!!

I’ve reached my Zenith. There’s nowhere else for me to go, or anything else for me to accomplish in this world. Today I, Bobby Ingram, have achieved more than I could ever have hoped to achieve in this world.

You see, as I’ve mentioned on blogger a few times before, about two years ago I was bored and stumbled across some whack job claiming Harry Potter was the anti-Christ and turning children into heathen-loving baby kickers, which is more or less retarded. Since I have nothing better to do with my time, I wrote an article satirizing it, complete with 13 points, none of which are even remotely valid or containing the smallest hint of truth.

Well, people tend to miss the point and post links to it on Potter sites and groups, and as a result it is closing in on some 20,000 views, which while small in internet terms, is stupidly high for something I wrote for my own entertainment.

Now, this article getting linked and misunderstood is nothing new to me. It’s been on forums, frontpages of Potter fansites (though that links to the forum thread on it since it’s off the front now,) facebook thread, after facebook thread, after facebook picture, and even the occasional standard (see: regular blogging by a sane human) LiveJournal, and those are all just a portion of the past month’s crop. Trust me, there are many, many threads just like those, filled with people who simply missed the point.

Today every link I’ve ever received before has been made obsolete. My good Rev’s thesis has now been linked by none other than an author of Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy erotic fiction.

I’m going to repeat that, because I don’t think I can make this clear enough:

A link to my webpage currently sits sandwiched between stories in which Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, two teenage boys, engage in various romps of a sexual and explicit nature. What the fuck?!?!

If you think I’m kidding, here is the full journal, where my link is the only post not regarding fictional teenage boys laying pipe together. While I can’t say I’ve clicked any of the links to confirm this, I feel it’s fairly safe to say you don’t want to click any of the links to the actual stories, because I can’t see how that would prove to me anything but a terrifyingly life-changing experience.

In other news on the HP-Article front, due to the fact that every time one of the above facebook links seems like it’s finally buried enough in those groups boards to die, somebody posts on it and brings it back to the top, I’ve received several thousand views the past month from people actively on facebook. Because of this, and the handy Reverend James Adams facebook button next to the article, the Rev is becoming rather e-popular. In fact his friends have tripled in the past month, and he’s up to some 40-odd friends. Again, not bad for a guy that doesn’t exist.

The problem in all this is that these threads won’t die, and he just keeps steadily acquiring more and more friends as a result of it. While I haven’t done the numbers, even with the recent friend lull he’s hit, I can estimate he’s making about a friend-a-day for the past month. I only have somewhere around 240-50 e-friends.

At the rate he’s going, by September I am going to be less popular than my imaginary friend.

I don’t know what the true definition of “loser” is, but I can’t imagine there’s a much more accurate one than “finding out a fictional person who exists solely as some 1,000 words on an irrelevant website is more beloved than you are.”